The Zebra Derby Read online

  “We’re gonna have a house,” said Lodestone.

  “Well, perhaps not right away, Lodestone,” I said.

  “I been reading some more about all the keen stuff they’re gonna have in postwar houses. Like atomic milkmen who explode when they make too much noise and—”

  “I’m sure that can’t be right, Lodestone.”

  “—and bathtubs with leg irons so you can’t fall down in them and—”

  “That’s all very nice, Lodestone, but you mustn’t get so worked up about these things. It might be quite a little while before we have a house.”

  But Lodestone, unheeding, was continuing her recital of household wonders, and I decided it would be cruel to shatter her dream. She was such a sweet child, such a faithful comrade. Through all these late troubled years she had stood staunch and true, always available, always waiting here for me on the knoll. Here I had ever found her. However I came to the knoll—in shining hope or blackest despair—she had been waiting, come wind, come weather. Never had I seen the knoll without her.

  Never, on the other hand, had I seen her anywhere but on the knoll.

  “Lodestone,” I said, “tell me. Have you ever left this knoll?”

  “What for?” said Lodestone.

  About the Author

  Max Shulman (1919–1988) was an American novelist, playwright, screenwriter, and short story writer best known as the author of Rally Round the Flag, Boys! (1957), The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1951), and the popular television series of the same name. The son of Russian immigrants, Shulman was born in St. Paul, Minnesota, and attended the University of Minnesota, where he wrote a celebrated column for the campus newspaper and edited the humor magazine. His bestselling debut novel, Barefoot Boy with Cheek (1943), was followed by two books written while he served in the Army during World War II: The Feather Merchants (1944) and The Zebra Derby (1946). The Tender Trap (1954), a Broadway play co-written with Robert Paul Smith, was adapted into a movie starring Frank Sinatra and Debbie Reynolds. His acclaimed novel Rally Round the Flag, Boys! became a film starring Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Shulman’s other books include Sleep till Noon (1950), a hilarious reinvention of the rags-to-riches tale; I Was a Teenage Dwarf (1959), which chronicles the further adventures of Dobie Gillis; Anyone Got a Match? (1964), a prescient satire of the tobacco, television, and food industries; and Potatoes Are Cheaper (1971), the tale of a romantic Jewish college student in depression-era St. Paul. His movies include The Affairs of Dobie Gillis (with Debbie Reynolds and Bob Fosse) and House Calls (with Walter Mathau and Glenda Jackson). One of America’s premier humorists, he greatly influenced the comedy of Woody Allen and Bob Newhart, among many others.

  All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental

  Copyright © 1944, 1945, 1946 by Max Shulman

  Cover design by Mauricio Díaz

  ISBN: 978-1-5040-2780-9

  This edition published in 2016 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.

  345 Hudson Street

  New York, NY 10014

  www.openroadmedia.com

  EARLY BIRD BOOKS

  FRESH EBOOK DEALS, DELIVERED DAILY

  BE THE FIRST TO KNOW—

  NEW DEALS HATCH EVERY DAY!

  EBOOKS BY MAX SHULMAN

  FROM OPEN ROAD MEDIA

  Available wherever ebooks are sold

  Open Road Integrated Media is a digital publisher and multimedia content company. Open Road creates connections between authors and their audiences by marketing its ebooks through a new proprietary online platform, which uses premium video content and social media.

  Videos, Archival Documents, and New Releases

  Sign up for the Open Road Media newsletter and get news delivered straight to your inbox.

  Sign up now at

  www.openroadmedia.com/newsletters

  FIND OUT MORE AT

  WWW.OPENROADMEDIA.COM

  FOLLOW US:

  @openroadmedia and

  Facebook.com/OpenRoadMedia